I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
