i will never coherently bang her
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
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