Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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