Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
