whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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