Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
We have started to decorate penises.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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