what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
