I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
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