Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
