shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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