last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
