It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
