im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
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