butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Randomize
