Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
