Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Randomize
