I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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