were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
