batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
