he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
