Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
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