The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I need moral support for this bender
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
