I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
