Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Randomize
