sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
