4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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