so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Randomize
