He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
