I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize
