you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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