Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
