Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I think my vagina is haunted
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
