He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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