Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
