You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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