before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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