That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
