She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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