im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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