Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
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