i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Randomize
