Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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