I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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