Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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