I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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