You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
