Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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