if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Randomize
