There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
