why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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