I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
