"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Randomize
