Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Randomize
