HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Let's get the cat blown out
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
