Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
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