Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
