Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize
