During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
