i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
