I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize