Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize